Halloween Hair Massacre!

November 01, 2013

Halloween Hair Massacre!

Last week I visited a barber shop in Tribeca on Church St (I wont get any more specific) and received the worst haircut of my life. I wanted a loose, shock of hair to wave about the top of my head in the cool autumn breeze. I love it when a gust of wind separates one of my luscious locks and encourages the pega-rapaz effect, knowwhatimsayin? I wanted this long hair on top to fade down to sides and back buzzed on a #2. Not too difficult, right? Well, i ended up looking like a mushroom. 

So I dug deep for the answer...

Way back in October of 1987 Men's Guide to Fashion (MGF) published this lovely issue featuring an article entitled "13 Grooming Disasters & Fast Ways to Beat Them."

My oh my, how things have changed! (And some have stayed the same)

"Grooming Disaster" number one talks about ways to fix a "hair massacre" at the salon. The article quotes a still-active stylist in NYC (thanks, Facebook) as saying this:

"After you break all the furniture in your apartment, sit down and try to relax. Then, get in the shower and shampoo your hair all over again. Towel dry and let your hair dry naturally. Start off by adding a little mousse, then blow dry it. If it still looks bad, try a little gel for a wet look and slick it all back." 

Listen, Children, DON'T YOU DARE! I have to remember the 80s was a time of gels and products and horribly tailored tweeds over chambrays and with satin ties. So I won't say this stylist was wrong, per se. But by today's standards of beauty, and given the modern tendency toward natural looks and products, I gotta tell you: Do not fight product with product (mousse, then gel?!). And never---but NEVER---shampoo twice in one day. And then blow dry? Really!

This solution to a hair massacre seems to me like hair murder. (But then we know how I feel about over-shampooing, and over-grooming on the whole.)

But on the other hand, the article goes on to mention some timeless wisdom about haircare:

"Hair follicles are nourished by blood, so hair is healthiest when a well-balanced diet is supplying proper nourishment to the blood stream. Make sure your hair is getting the nutrients it needs."

And after my "hair massacre" last week, my dear friend Elisa, Executive Manager of the Arrojo Cosmetology School, wisely told me:

"The difference between a bad haircut and a good haircut is two weeks."

So it's about being patient. You can't look perfect everyday, God knows. And if you do, then you're just not human. Or you're Mary Hart.

Have you had any hair massacres? Did you ever just shave and start all over? Sound off in the comments section below...and have a look, just for kicks, at some more grooming advice from MGF, October 1987! (shaving your under-eye skin! Gross!)

P.S. Can l tell you how fun it is reading a fashion magazine heralding the "newest looks" from a quarter-century ago? (Lowered buttons on double-breasted suits to show off NEW wider ties!)

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